The Storm of Unhappiness

Only a few short years ago I was lost, depressed and stuck in a storm of unhappiness so ferocious I felt I would never see sunlight again.

I was desperate for change, answers and happiness.  I honestly thought I would be stuck in that shit storm forever. It was painful, I hurt for a while but it turns out it was necessary for me to go through all of it. 

Had I not been in such a bad place I would have never discovered Heart Conversations! This practice of getting in touch with my heart and hearing its advice has brought me peace, happiness and lifted the storm I thought would never end. 

I would have never guessed that the simple practice of allowing my hearts voice to speak to me would change my life in such a significant way. I am forever grateful to my heart for persisting, not giving up on me and loving me unconditionally.

Here is a little snippet from my book Hello Heart. 

I remember thinking at the time, ‘This is so not what I signed up for, this is not life; this is crap!’ I felt literally and figuratively heavy. I had gained so much weight that it was no wonder I had a hard time going about my day-to-day life. I’d go to work, do my job and try not to hate myself too much or everything else round me. But I detested being there and that made me feel like I was ungrateful. I’d then go home, cook, spend a little time with my baby girl and go to bed, thinking that escaping all those things for eight hours might make me feel better. But no, that’s when the thoughts really picked up speed. I’d lie there wondering, ‘Why do I not want to be with this wonderful man, this perfectly awesome person? What is wrong with me? How do I fix me?’
Clearly not happy with my life as it stood, I begun to seek out people, activities and ‘stuff’ that would help me get happy again. I bought an endless supply of different books on how to ‘do life’, how to ‘be happy’ and how ‘not to be lame’. I spent enormous amounts of money on psychologists, counsellors, healers and psychics. You name it, I tried it. I also poured untold amounts of energy into trying to fix other people’s problems in order to avoid having to address my own. And almost without fail, every time I went externally to find answers or guidance, I would come home feeling even more lost and confused. I was confused about how I was meant to fix what was wrong, confused about how to implement everything that was suggested, and confused about exactly what the hell was going on in the first place!

What you just read describes a very challenging period of my life.  I’m not going to lie, it was turbulent; I felt deep sadness and confusion almost everyday while I was going through it.  My life was majorly off course and the alarm bells were ringing!! 

The good news is, I did end up listening, I handed the mic over to my heart and let her guide me.  I feel such ease now, life flows beautifully.  It no longer feels like I am swimming up stream against a killer tide.

Now, by no means am I implying that everything in my life is perfect and I am living an amazing life, free of worry, concerns and difficulties – unrealistic, we are human after all!  What I am saying though, is when we listen, we allow ourselves the opportunity to learn about ways that life could be better.  We open up to possibilities for change and allow for new energy to enter which can lead to fulfillment and happiness.

If Heart Conversations are something you are ready to explore, grab a copy of, Hello Heart and get you will be on your way! 

Pick up the phone to your hearts call; you never know what it might have to say!

 

Big love xx