Hi there Love Warrior!
It turns out that many people feel like a fraud when they are finally ready to take their big idea out into the world. I had heard about the Imposter Syndrome so much that I actually felt a little immune to it, until last week when it smacked me in the face so hard my head is still spinning now. It’s pretty much about feeling inadequate in some way. Like feeling you’re not prepared enough or qualified enough to do the thing you have planned to do, like... launch a website, write a book, speak at an event, the list is truly endless.
Well guess what? I’ve had this fear for a long time. I feared I was not ‘ready’ to be seen, launch my website or come out with my work. And to tell you the truth, I wasn’t even aware of it. All I knew was that it felt unfinished, not polished, not well presented and half-baked. I thought the fear was about not being ready but really it was about not being perfect. And because I was not perfect I couldn’t possibly let the world see me for me.
In the past I have used my Heart Conversations process in relation to my health and I was able to identify what had kept me unhealthy. I learned a lot about myself and I used this knowledge to make lifestyle changes that resulted in weight loss and all-round feelings of well-being. But... I am finding myself dealing with this ‘bag of issues’ all over again after the birth of my son, who is now eight months old.
I was certainly my own worst critic. I judged myself constantly. I had a story playing on repeat in my mind about how I am not enough just as I am, because I am not perfect/thinner/offering a better product on my website (me)/a better writer/the author of a better book. I had a list from here to Chile about why I was not perfect and it included in minute detail all the things that were wrong with me. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t get a longer list if I tried, I mean, my parent’s native land is over 11,000 kilometres away!
Comparison was also keeping me behind the scenes. I kept thinking... they are more established than I am... how could I possibly release my book into the world when they have such a large following that respect them and listen to them... and I am just starting out. There were a million excuses. I haven’t lost enough weight yet, I don’t want people to see me if I am not a picture perfect version of myself.
What I did to silence that internal critic was to reinforce my OWN message... to myself. I had a Heart Conversation, gave my heart a call, and checked in to see what she had to say about this. And of course, the message was quite simple—we are all only ever a work in progress.
There is no need to be anything else but you, taking it day by day.
So, with a deep breath and a bit of my own advice, I worked through the fact that I didn’t have to be perfect to start-up and let the world see me. I am enough as I am, right now, today! Even if I am carrying extra baby weight, still have a couple of glitches on my website and have grey hairs everywhere. I also probably need a good eyebrow wax (and you’d think I could at least keep up with that one, considering my sister is a beauty therapist - ha!) But the reality is there really is a heck of a lot of life going on!
Taking a look at the big picture really helped me be not just ok, but super proud of what I’ve achieved this year. Taking a look at the big picture reminded me that I’m a mum of two, am starting a business, planning a wedding and helping my partner start up his first ever business! It turns out that some things just do fall by the way side.
Look... the truth is we are all doing our best. And it’s ok. Of course I want to have more time to get things right but realistically at the moment, that’s a bit tricky. I really do want to spring out of bed in the morning at 5:45am to jump on that treadmill but most nights I am up during the night a lot with our baby. I do know though that I am trying my best, and that is all I can do. I try to meet every day with a positive attitude and feel confident that I am doing my bit to help the greater good. And as with all of the ‘other stuff’ of life, I focus on being a good mum (even if that means take away meals every now and then) and remind myself that I am good enough – just the way I am, today.
For real, what matters most is not my bushy eyebrows or the fact I’m still carrying around extra weight or that it sometimes takes me days to respond to my emails. It’s that I am showing up, being me, doing life as best I can—all with the understanding that I am enough, just as I am, here today. And if no one else has a problem with it, why should I? And if they do have a problem with it... maybe they need to look up their heart’s phone number and check in with themselves, it may have been a while.
I am enough and perfect just as I am, here today. We are only ever work in progress.